Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
I only use deodorant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled of.
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
Borrow money from pessimists–they don’t expect it back
Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
My Reality Check bounced.
Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.
WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Don’t spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They’ll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! … Now read without the word dog.
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested.
News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo… 1 was caught watching tv… another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message
Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: What Men Know About Women.
Q: How do you save a man from drowning?
A: Take yer foot of his head.
Q:What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love?
A: Honey, I’m home!
Q: What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
A: Magnets have a positive side!
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
Q: Why were males created before females?
A: Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
koie dur ho kitna hi, kya gum hai,
magar wo apna hai, ye kya kam hai,
chahe na ho bat na ho mulakat, kya gam hai,
yaad hamein wo karle ek bar, ye kya kam hai……
wat is the difference between u & blood ? blood comes in & goes out of heart but u come & stay forever !

