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A married man was asked to perform his SWOT (Strength, Weakness, Opportunity, and Threat) Analysis.
He said, my strength is my wife.
My weakness is my neighbors wife.
Opportunity comes when neighbor goes out.
Threat comes when I myself go out.

Q. What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
A. Moti-vating!!!

Q. What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE?
A. Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai… Doosri bigadti hai to ‘SHUROO’ ho jati hai

Q. Doctor: App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai.
A .Man: Hoga, zarur hoga; 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai.

Q. What’s the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE?
A. In both cases you feel ‘aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta’

Q. Ek admi ne sadhu se kaha, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaay bataiye.
A. Sadhu bola , saale, Upaay hota to main sadhu kyoon banta?*

The moment you are in TENSION

You will lose your ATTENTION

Then you are in total CONFUSION

and you’ll feel IRRITATION

This may spoil your personal RELATIONS

Ultimately, you won’t get COOPERATION

And get things into COMPLICATION

Then you may raise CAUTION.

And you have to take MEDICATION

Why not try understanding the SITUATION

And try to think about the SOLUTION

Many problems will be solved by DISCUSSION

Which will work out better in your PROFESSION

Don’t think this is a free SUGGESTION

It is only for your PREVENTION

If you understand my INTENTION

You’ll never come again into TENSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!