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Time is a marvellous healer but is a complete failure as a beautician.
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When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s £1.50 per minute
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Never let a man’s mind wander, it’s too little to be out on it’s own
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I’ve used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.
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I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
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The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
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I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
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I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
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Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
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Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.
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Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
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The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
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Don’t take life too seriously; no-one gets out alive.
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It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
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Is there another word for synonym?
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Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagent ring, a wedding ring, and suffering
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ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.
(1 votes, average: 3 out of 5) Loading ...Son asks diff btw Confidence and Confidential
Dad says, u are my son, I am Confident.
Ur friend is also my son, thats Confidential
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...A lady wrote to an advice column in a newspaper: “I have been engaged to a man for some time, but just before the wedding, I find he has a wooden leg. Do you think I should break it off?”
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!