1. Rule 1. – The Boss is always right.
2. Rule 2. – If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.
3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.
4. Ph.D. stands for “Pull Him Down”. The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.
5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
6.. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
7. It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you are going to do.
8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
9. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
11. If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it…
12. When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
13.. Following the rules will not get the job done.
14. If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
15. Everything can be filed under “Miscellaneous” .
16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work you are supposed to be doing..
18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.
19.. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.
20.. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

If you are already in a relationship or married, these are the rules that you ought to follow:

1. The female always makes the rules.

2. These rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules.

4. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. The female is never wrong.

6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male said or did wrong.

7. If rule number 6 applies, the male must immediately apologize for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent of the female.

10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whats on her mind whether she wants him to be calm, angry or upset.

13. Any attempt to document these rules could result in bodily harm.

14. The female always gets the last word!

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.

Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are…

Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.

Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?????.. …

Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.

Q: What’s the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
A: I don’t know, I’ve never seen either.

Q: What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business?
A: I) no mind ii) no business

Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A:! Because even back then men wouldn’t ask for directions .
Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink…

Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.

Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he’s God’s gift?
A: Exchange him!!

Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.