As a teacher in the local high school, I had once received a note from a boy in my 10th grade homeroom. It read: Please excuse John X. from school this afternoon, he has an appointment with his gynecologist. Mrs. X. (John’s mother)

Little Johnny was late again, teacher ask why? Little Johnny said: “It was a sign down the road.” Teacher ask: “What has a sign got to do with it?” Little Johnny replied: “It said, school ahead go slow.”

I used this as an excuse when I didn’t come to school for 24 days- “I was walking past the stairs and this really fat girl rolled down them and hit me. I broke my 2 rigs, my legs, and fractured my wrist.” The teacher laughed and gave me an A.