ApnaySms.net » Misc SMS Jokes

Sardar and Bush-Joke!

Aamir — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 21:04:10 +0000

A Sardarji went to US and had a meeting with George Bush.
George Bush: I want to show you the US advancement. Come with me. He takes him to a forest.

George Bush: Dig the ground. Sardarji did it.
George Bush: more…more. ..more… Sardarji went up to 100 feet.
George Bush: So now, try to search something.

Sardarji: I got a wire.
George Bush : you know, it shows that even 100 years ago we used to have telephones.

Sardarji became frustrated. He invited George Bush to India. Next year George Bush was in India

Sardarji : I want to show you our advancement. The same…he takes George Bush to a forest.

Sardarji : Dig it. George Bush does.
Sardarji : more…more. …. George Bush goes up to almost 400 feet..
Sardarji : try to find something. George Bush tries.
Sardarji : Did you get anything?

George Bush : No, there is nothing here.

Sardarji : you know, it shows that even 400 years ago we used to have WIRELESS!!

Sardar and Bush-Joke! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Ittefaq-Pathan-Joke!

Guest — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 16:48:14 +0000

Teacher: ITTEFAQ ka koi jumla banao Pathan: jis din mere baap ka shaadi tha ITTEFAQ se usi din meri maa ka bhi shaadi tha Ittefaq-Pathan-Joke! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Ittefaq-Pathan-Joke! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Santa Jumps-Joke!

Aamir — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 11:39:58 +0000

One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on the
thirteenth floor building when a man came running in
to his office and shouted “Santa Singh your daughter
Preeto just died in an accident” Sardarji was in
panic.Not knowing what to do he jumped from his office
window. While coming down when he was near the tenth
floor he remembered he didn’t have a daughter named
Preeto. When he was near the fifth floor he remembered
he was not married.When he was about to hit the ground
he remembered he was not Santa Singh.

Santa Jumps-Joke! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Bhikari-Joke!

Aamir — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 18:53:02 +0000

Bikhari Ne Hotel Taj me phone Kia… Bhikari : Hallo Taj Hotel? Taj : Ha Ji Bhikari : 1Pizza, 1Biryani,1RasMalai.. … Bhej Do Taj : Kiske Nam Pe Bheju Sir Bhikari : Allah K Nam Pe Bhej do Bhikari-Joke! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Bhikari-Joke! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Joke of The Day!

Aamir — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 17:30:42 +0000

Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, “You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get outta here.” The astonished Chinese man replied, “It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor,it was the Japanese”. “Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you’re all the same,” replied Spielberg.
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, “You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship.” Shocked, Spielberg replies, “It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me.” The Chinese replies, “Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you’re all the same.”

Joke of The Day! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Student Joke!

Aamir — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 17:21:04 +0000

English Teacher: Make a sentence using “Neither-Nor” Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses, “Neither” are they comfortable, “NOR” are we! Student Joke! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Student Joke! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Woman & Man Joke!

Aamir — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 17:16:16 +0000

Woman: If you were my husband I’d poison your coffee. Man: And if you were my wife, I’d drink it. Woman & Man Joke! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Woman & Man Joke! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

How To Stay Married!

Aamir — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 05:23:33 +0000

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything.
They had talked about everything.
They had kept no secrets from each other except
that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had
cautioned her husband never to open or
ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day
the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not
recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took
down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box.
When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money
totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. “When we were to be married,”
she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to
never argue.
She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet
and crochet a doll.”

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two
precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two
times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with
happiness.

“Honey,” he said, “that explains the doll, but what about all of this
money? Where did it come from?”
Oh,” she said, “that’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”

How To Stay Married! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Lallu Ki Bhaiswa!

Aamir — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 09:04:22 +0000

Mayawati came to Lallu’s house with a goat.

Lallu: Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho?

Maya: Dikhta nahin goatwa hai?

Lallu: Hum goatwa se hi to pooch raha hoon.

Lallu Ki Bhaiswa! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Good Cook!

Aamir — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 07:11:55 +0000

Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly,

do you say prayers before eating?

Sam: No sir, I don’t have to,

my Mom is a good cook.

Good Cook! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Confidence & Confidential-SMS Joke!

Aamir — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 05:24:48 +0000

Son asks diff btw Confidence and Confidential
Dad says, u are my son, I am Confident.
Ur friend is also my son, thats Confidential

Confidence & Confidential-SMS Joke! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Hum Apno Se Khafa!

Aamir — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 06:03:27 +0000

Hum Apno Se Khafa Ho Nahi Sakte Pyaar Ke Rishtey Bewafa Ho Nahi Sakte App Hame Bhul Ke So Jao Hum App Ko Yaad Kiye Bina So Nahi Sakte Hum Apno Se Khafa! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Hum Apno Se Khafa! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

A Drunken Man!

Aamir — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 06:37:59 +0000

A drunken man falls from the 1st floor!!! People gathered around and ask: Kya hua bhaisaab? He replied: Pata nahi main bhi abhi abhi neechay aaya hoon!!! A Drunken Man! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

A Drunken Man! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Waqeel Pathan Ke Karishme!

Aamir — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 12:19:39 +0000

Qatil :- Koshish karna k umer qaid ho,phansi na ho
Pathan Waqeel :- Tum fikar na karo

Adalat k bad

Qatil :- Kia huwa?
Pathan Waqeel :- Buhat Muskil se umer qaid hui adalat to bari kar rahi the…

Waqeel Pathan Ke Karishme! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Breaking News!

Aamir — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 11:50:45 +0000

Breaking News: The Shoes have been Traced

The pair of shoes which was thrown at Mr. Bush in Iraq has links to Pakistan, said a statement from Pentagon. They have the following proofs:

i) The journalist had visited Pakistan earlier this year. There he was inspired by the shoe throwing at former Chief Minister Arbab Ghulam Rahim and Sher Afghan Niazi.

ii) He received his training of throwing shoes by a Pakistan based Jihadi organization.

iii) The DNA sample of leather has revealed that the animal whose skin was used for manufacturing the shoe had traces of grass which is grown in North of Pakistan and this skin was collected by a Jihadi organization on Eid-ul-Adha this month.

Hearing this, President Asif Ali Zardari and Prime Minister Yousaf Raza Gilani have decided to launch a country wide crackdown against all the cobblers in Pakistan. Defense Minister Ahmad Mukhtar who also owns Service Shoe Company will lead the Task Force.

Keep us updated if u have further developments on this issue

Breaking News! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Strange But True!

Aamir — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 11:08:52 +0000

1) Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, Forgot laughter were called “Saints”, But now they are called.. “IT professionals”

2) An interesting line written at the back of a Biker’s T Shirt : “If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off”

3) Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present.. Its just that,
One loves too much, And the other loves too many,

4) Employee: Boss, Now I have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company..!

5) Philosophy of life:
At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!

Strange But True! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Zaroorat-e-Rishta!

Aamir — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 10:53:36 +0000

75 year old lady ne newspaper mein add diya,
Zarorat-e-rishta?

Saat din k baad ek letter aaya?

Amma is umer mein rishtey nahin,
Farishtay aatay hain.!!

Zaroorat-e-Rishta! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Pathan In Class!

Aamir — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 10:47:21 +0000

Teacher to Pathan: Qatil kise kehtey hain ?
Pathan: Pata nahi,
Teacher: agar tum apne baap ko
qatal ker do tou tum kia kehlao gay?
Pathan: YATEEM

Pathan In Class! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

I Think!

Aamir — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 05:56:35 +0000

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde walked into a room which contained a mirror inside. If you talked to the mirror and told a lie, it would suck you up. If you told the truth, it would give you a wish.
The brunette went first. She said, “I think I’m the prettiest girl in the world.” And the mirror sucked her up.
Then the redhead went. She said, “I think I’m the prettiest girl in the world.” And the mirror sucked her up.
So then the blonde went. She said, “I think-” And the mirror sucked her up.

I Think! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Blonde in Library!

Aamir — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 05:45:40 +0000

A blonde walked into a library and said, “Can I have a burger and fries?”
The librarian said, “Sorry, this is a library.”
So the blonde whispered, “Can I have a burger and fries?”

Blonde in Library! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

A Blonds is Driving!

Aamir — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 05:44:01 +0000

A blonde is driving down the road. She notices that she’s low on gas so she stops at the gas station. While she’s pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so she can attempt to open the door herself.

She goes outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant goes outside to see how the blonde is faring. The blonde outside of the car is moving the hanger around and around, while the blonde inside of the car is saying, “A little more to the left … a little more to the right!”

A Blonds is Driving! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Q & A: Blondes!

Aamir — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 05:39:41 +0000

Q. How do you know a blonde has been using the computer?

A. There is cheese in front of the mouse.

Q. How many blonde’s does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Who knows it has never been done.

Q. How do you know a blonde has been using a dishwasher?

A.It’s cloged up with paper plates.

Q: How do you recognize a blonde in school?

A: They are the only ones who erase their notebook when the teacher erases the board.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who hijacked a submarine?

A: She demanded $200,000 and a parachute.

Q: How many blonde jokes are there?

A: One – the rest are all true.

Q. Why did the blonde bury her walkman?

A. Because the batteries were dead.

Q: How can you tell if a cat is blonde?

A: No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its head.

Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the banana plantation?

A: Because she threw out all the bent ones.

Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?

A: She went looking for the three guys.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using your lawnmower?

A: The green WELCOME mat is ripped to shreds.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: You don’t have to. They’re born that way.

Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?

A: Give her a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say ‘hi.’

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?

A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

Q: How do blonde braincells die?

A: Alone.

Q & A: Blondes! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Sahi Se Dekh!

Aamir — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 09:13:07 +0000

A boy told his friend,
“yar aik ladki mujh ko hans k dekh rahi hai”.

Friend answered:
“Sahi se dekh, hans k dekh rahi hai ya dekh k hans rahi hai ”

Sahi Se Dekh! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Gadhe Ki Shadi!

Aamir — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 06:27:48 +0000

Ek Gadha:- Yaar mera malik mujhe bahut maarta hai.

Dusara Gadha:- To tu bhag kyu nahi jata.

Pehla Gadha:- Bhag to jata par yahan future bada bright hai …
malik ki khoobsurat beti jab shararat karti hai to malik kahta hai,
“Teri shaadi gadhe se kar dunga…!”
Bas isi ummeed me baitha hoon……..

Gadhe Ki Shadi! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Typical Memon Family!

Aamir — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 05:07:59 +0000

A Memon Family received the coffin of their dead father from U.S.A.
There was a letter on top of the coffin.
I m sendng ABBA’s body, it was his wish 2 be buried here.
Under ABBA’s body r 12 cans of Cheese
10 pack of Choclates & 8 packs of Badam.
ABBA is wearing a pair of Reebok Shoes 4 Qasim.
There r 2 pair of Shoes 4 Asim & Amin.
Abba is wearng 6 T-Shirts Large 1 is 4 Sattar Bhai othrs r 4 Boys.
2 Jeans Abba is wearng r 4 Boys.

“If u wan anythin else then cal me coz AMMA is not feellin well..”

Typical Memon Family! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Air Hostess To Laluji!

Aamir — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 06:36:51 +0000

Air hostess :sir r u vegeterian or non vegeterian.
Lalu :I am an Indian .
Air hostess:no sir kya aap shakahari hai ya masahari
Lalu: no I am bihari.

Air Hostess To Laluji! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

World’s smallest resignation letter!

Aamir — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 05:56:25 +0000

World’s smallest resignation letter:

Dear Sir,

I Love your Wife.

Thank You.

World’s smallest resignation letter! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

PREDICTION OF THE CENTURY!

Aamir — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 11:58:22 +0000

PREDICTION OF THE CENTURY

According to the latest report in the New York Times, a famous astrologist has made these predictions:

Sarah Paulin will divorce her husband and will marry Asif Zardai.

Then Paulin will be elected Vice President of USA.

President McCain will die of old age and natural causes.

Paulin will become President of the USA.

After Paulin gets killed by an unknown group of Al Qaida /Taliban, her last will and testament will be discovered by her husband Zardari.

She will say “Zardari will inherit my presidency after my death’.

Zardari will become the next President of the USA.

Eventually, Bilawal will again change his name to BILAWAL BHUTTO PAULIN ZARDARI

PREDICTION OF THE CENTURY! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Khan To Khan!

Aamir — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 11:48:23 +0000

KHAN Ne Ek Bacha Kidnap kia or Chudane Ke Liye Sticker Pe Ye Likh Ke Bache Pe Chipkaya: 10 Laakh Kal Subah Pul Ke Neeche Pohnchado?
Aur Bache Ko Ghar Wapis Bhejdia.

Dosray Din Wo Pul Ke Neeche Gaya To Usay Paise Milgye Or Sath Sticker Pe Likha Tha: Khuda Qasam, Paise Ka Gham Nahi, Gham Is Baat Ka Hai Ki “KHAN NE KHAN KO LOOTA”

Khan To Khan! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

College Ka Mahool!

Aamir — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 11:03:31 +0000

Ek sahab apne dost se mile aur apne ladke ki shikayat karne lage “maine use college mein padhne ke liye bheja tha par woh nasha karta hai aur khoobsurat ladkiyon ke saat ghoomta rahta hai’.

Dost ne kaha” aaj kal ka college ka mahool asa hi hai”.

Baap ne ek thandi aah bhari aur kaha ” agar aisa hai to main apne ladke ko dukaan mein baithata aur… khud college padhne jata”

College Ka Mahool! is a post from: ApnaySms.net

KING OF SMS

Aamir — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 08:22:37 +0000

Agar me aap k sms ka jawab na don.
Kabhi miss call na kar paon
Ya akabhi call bhi na karon
to samajh lena k
KING OF SMS

Araam farma rahay hain:)

KING OF SMS is a post from: ApnaySms.net

1 pathan dusre se

Aamir — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 08:15:34 +0000

1 pathan dusre se:
“Zara car se bahir dekhna k
indicators kam ker rahe hain ya nahin..?”

Doosra pathan bahar dekh ker:
Han,nahin,han,nahin,han,nahi

1 pathan dusre se is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Aj apne dil k derwazy mere liye khol do,

Aamir — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 08:13:24 +0000

Aj apne dil k derwazy mere liye khol do,
Jo kuch hy DIL main bus bol do,
Agar Hamara SMS achi nahin hay to ap ko qasam hy
.
.
Isi waqt apna mobile toor do:p

Aj apne dil k derwazy mere liye khol do, is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Law of Nature

Aamir — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:45:00 +0000

If someone hurts you, don’t mind it. It is the law of nature : ”The tree that bears the sweetest fruits gets the maximum number of stones” Law of Nature is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Law of Nature is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Future is a Question Paper

Aamir — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:36:42 +0000

In Life, Future is a Question Paper, Past is a News Paper & Present is an Answer Sheet.! So, Read, Learn & Write Carefully Future is a Question Paper is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Future is a Question Paper is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Dare to be different

Aamir — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:31:17 +0000

Believe where others doubt. Work where others refuse. Save where others waste. stay where others QUIT. ~DARE TO BE DIFFERENT~ Dare to be different is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Dare to be different is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Two Rules Of SUCCESS

Aamir — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 15:41:02 +0000

Two Rules Of SUCCESS: 1) Never Say Everything, You Know. 2) Never Say You Know Everything Two Rules Of SUCCESS is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Two Rules Of SUCCESS is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Memon boss 2 worker

Aamir — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 09:09:04 +0000

Memon boss 2 worker: Tumne is saal mehnat se kaam kia hai, is liye 5000 ka bonus cheque de raha hon. Agar isi tarha kaam karoge to agle saal is pe sign ker donga. Memon boss 2 worker is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Memon boss 2 worker is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Maths Magic

Aamir — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 08:55:10 +0000

MATHS MAGIC…….
9 X 9 + 7 = 88
98 X 9 + 6 = 888
987 X 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 X 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 X 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 X 9 + 2 = 8888888

Maths Magic is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Yesterday whole night I was thinking about

Aamir — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 09:24:22 +0000

Yesterday whole night I was thinking about only U… Now I am thinking of V. Tonight I will definitely think about W,X,Y & Z… Yesterday whole night I was thinking about is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Yesterday whole night I was thinking about is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Impact of Movies

Aamir — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 09:01:31 +0000

Impact of Movies: Teacher – Who is Mahatma Gandhi? Student- He is the one who helped MunnaBhai to impress his girlfriend! Impact of Movies is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Impact of Movies is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Fullstop is not the end

Aamir — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 16:55:33 +0000

Fullstop is not the end. Because we can write a new sentence after it Same in life Failure is not the real end, it is a real beginning of a success Fullstop is not the end is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Fullstop is not the end is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Who walks with us through…

Aamir — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 17:44:39 +0000

Who walks with us through the difficult path of life ?
Mom/dad ?
-No
Husband/Wife ?
-No
Friends ?
-No

only our CHAPPA

Who walks with us through… is a post from: ApnaySms.net

My New Film

Aamir — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 17:04:29 +0000

******************** ******************** ******************** ******THE END****** You have just watched my new film “Taare mobile per” My New Film is a post from: ApnaySms.net

My New Film is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Relationship is silent gift

Aamir — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 18:38:08 +0000

Relationship is silent gift More old more strong More deep more clear More close more warm Less words more undrstanding Preserve it, forever Relationship is silent gift is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Relationship is silent gift is a post from: ApnaySms.net

What’s The Moral Of Movies

Aamir — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 18:32:55 +0000

What’s The Moral Of Movies
Jannat
Gangster
Murder
Fanaa
Titanic
Think
Larkiyo K Lafrey May Mat Paro,
Khaali Larkiyan
Bachti Hai
Baaqi Sab Mer Jaatey Hai;-)

What’s The Moral Of Movies is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Why do girls act like idiots?

Aamir — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 18:29:58 +0000

Why do girls act like idiots????
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Who Says they are actiNG

Why do girls act like idiots? is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Meri Life Ki Sabse Keeemti Cheez

Aamir — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 11:28:36 +0000

“Aaap” Jante Ho Meri Life Ki Sabse ‘Keeemti’ Cheez Kya Hai?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. . .
Is Message Ka Sabse Pehla Word

Meri Life Ki Sabse Keeemti Cheez is a post from: ApnaySms.net

LIFE s like CHEMISTRY

Aamir — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 18:47:17 +0000

LIFE s like CHEMISTRY CONCENTRATE ur frnds DILUTE ur enemis DISSOLVE ur worris EVAPORATE ur sorrows Den Ull get CRYSTALS of HAPPINESS LIFE s like CHEMISTRY is a post from: ApnaySms.net

LIFE s like CHEMISTRY is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Computer se LOVE ki Inteha

Aamir — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 18:44:13 +0000

Computer se LOVE ki Inteha ! A Computer Lover f alling from the roof of a building and shouting F1 F1 F1 instead of help..help..! Computer se LOVE ki Inteha is a post from: ApnaySms.net

Computer se LOVE ki Inteha is a post from: ApnaySms.net